Is it possible to fix an abusive relationship through couple counselling? Find the best couple counsellor in Mumbai.
A relationship can be defined as two people mutually coming together for physical, emotional, and social co-dependence. A relationship works the best and lasts the longest when there is mutual respect, love, and care. However, there are a lot of relationships where instead of respecting each other, a partner might torture the other partner, where instead of love and care, a partner might abuse the other partner, where dominance and submission become the core of the relationship.
Abuses can be of various types. Domestic violence, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, and physical abuse are some types of abuses that can be a part of a toxic relationship.
A few red flags to look out for to understand if you are in an abusive relationship are as follows:
- If nonconsensual sexual acts are being performed or forced.
- If there is extreme and irrational jealousy or insecurities expressed by a partner.
- If a partner doesn’t allow the other partner to do anything independently or there is a lack of personal space in the relationship.
- If there is the use of abusive or harsh words in an argument or day-to-day conversations.
- If all the financial independence is taken away.
- If a partner gets physically violent with the other partner.
- If a partner feels stuck in a relationship and finds it very difficult to stand up for themselves.
It is important to recognize if one is in an abusive relationship and to try to change it. In an abusive relationship, the dominant follows a certain pattern regularly, and the submissive, by not standing up for themselves, or by constantly giving the dominant a chance to redeem themselves, reinforces the unhealthy patterns followed by the dominant.
It is difficult to change these patterns by yourself in a relationship, as one is very closely involved, and a lot of fears and irrational thoughts come in the way. Being in an abusive relationship makes it difficult to think analytically and rationally. That’s where psychologists, marriage counsellors, relationship counsellors, or couples counsellors come into the picture.
Yes! It is possible to fix an abusive relationship through counselling. However, there are a few pre-requisites one needs to keep in account. For any therapy to work, all the individuals present in therapy should be willingly present. Most of the times, the dominant in an abusive relationship would not agree or be ready to go through therapy, unless they find a threat to the relationship, or by some way, they get an insight that the relationship they are into is unhealthy, and the patterns they are following are toxic.
Assuming that both the partners have mutually decided on coming in for therapy, therapists will initially work on understanding the dynamics of the relationship and recognizing the unhealthy patterns that are being followed by each partner. There are always reasons behind every individual’s behaviours, because of which the therapist may even spend some sessions to dig into each partner’s past to recognize the source of their behaviours, if need be. Therapists would then start working on providing strategies and techniques to both the partners to slowly and gradually change their behaviours in the relationship.
It is important to understand that fixing an abusive relationship requires a lot of time, effort, insight, and commitment from everyone present in therapy. Because of months or years of unhealthy patterns, there is a possibility of relapse as well, however, the therapist’s role is to initially, reduce the frequency of the abusive behaviour, and then to stop it for good. Relationship counselling, couple’s counselling or marriage counselling’s collateral advantages will also be that the compatibility, understanding, respect, and love in between the partners will increase significantly.
In a different scenario, if both the partners do not agree on getting counselling or therapy done, individual counselling for one partner can also be done, where their individual thought processes, emotions, and behaviours are considered, and healthier patterns are encouraged.
A lot of times, fixing a relationship also means ending it, if it is mutually, emotionally, and physically beneficial to both the partners. Many times, partners take the decision of ending the relationship before coming in for counselling. Counsellors are ethically not in the position to advise the partners whether they should continue or terminate the relationship, however, their role is to make all the facts clear and guide you towards making your own decision.
There are many counsellors in Mumbai providing the best couple’s counselling services for individuals in an abusive relationship.