How do counsellors perform relationship counselling online? Best relationship counsellor in Bangalore.

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Relationships are known to be complex. And this applies to the whole spectrum of relationships including; family, friendships, romantic/spouse or in other forms like colleagues, acquaintances, or even belonging to a social group. Every relationship demands a different set of behaviours to facilitate healthy dynamics. However, the flexibility, the compassion, understanding and acceptance it calls for is massive. It is but natural to falter because “To err is human”. Most relationships go through sticky situations because of the afore mentioned demands/expectations not being fulfilled. Many relationships are able to cut through these patches, but for some, it feels out of reach. Therefore, vicious cycles of repeated patterns become ‘normal’ and as a consequence, hitting an impasse.

To break the impasse is an enormous task. Many people that find themselves in this situation would benefit from intervention. Intervention from a family therapist/relationship counsellor could help break the cycle of unhealthy dynamics. Success always depends on the willingness to work on oneself and the relationship as a whole.

Types of relationships that present themselves in a counselling set-up are plenty. But below are some that are seen in significant numbers:

  1. Siblings/cousins
  2. Parent-Child/Adolescent/Adult
  3. Boyfriend-Girlfriend/Husband-wife
  4. Friendships

Mode of consultation:

  • Face to face
  • Online

The process for both remain the same. Since the scope of the article is ‘online consultations’, here is an overview of how it works:

  • Once the administrative tasks are complete, the first appointment is set up with all people involved on an online platform most convenient to both parties (Most often; google meet and Zoom). Invites are sent a day before or a few hours before appointment.
  • The first session assesses an overall view of the dynamics. For example; if the people involved are a Mother-Daughter duo both of them are asked to explain their sides to the problem. What transpires in that session gives the therapist/relationship counsellor a basic understanding of the nature of the problems in the relationship.
  • Depending on the above, the professional takes a call on if intense individual work is required or if it can be worked out in the presence of all the people involved.
  • Most often, a few sessions split time between the people or even have individual sessions to get an in-depth understanding of each other’s perspectives.
  • The sessions that follow will address the difficulties to help change existing unhealthy patterns to creating healthier ones.
  • Frequency of meetings is discussed in the initial session and invites are sent individually or to all people involved depending on what is discussed.

Effective communication is key in working through any relationship. And relationship counselling/therapy focuses on improving skills that are necessary to enhance the relationship. Some skills that are generally focused upon are as follows:

  1. Managing stress individually: How an individual deals with his/her own stressors becomes important to understand. This, because it has an impact on relationships in general. For example, if an individual is going through work stress, and they are feeling angry about it, the anger may get displaced on other people within the social environment (home, conversations through chats or video calls etc.). Resilience can be very helpful in navigating through different aspects including relationships
  2. Understanding the source of a problem: Certain auto-pilot behaviours contribute to the difficulty in relationships. Converting those reactive patterns to more reflective/responsive ones becomes imperative in changing the dynamics.
  3. Conflict resolution: When a set of sore spots are identified in the process of therapy, resolving each one of them systematically ensue. A menu of alternate behaviours is created to help communicate effectively so as to not repeat patterns that have caused the issue. To remain respectful demeanor despite disagreement is of prime importance and this is discussed. Patterns are reflected in sessions together to facilitate the same.
  4. Effective listening and accessing empathy: It is natural to get stuck with right/wrong, or even one’s own perspective in any relationship. But relationships require one to also see if not understand fully, the other’s person’s thoughts and feelings. Empathy is key to being able to do so. Being able to stay in the discomfort, listen and attempt understanding is definitely a challenging task, but even if one is able to do it consistently if not always, it can lead to progress in terms of how people are dealing with each other.

There will be no difference in how a relationship counsellor delivers services regardless of whether it is online or face to face. Since the beginning of the pandemic, the number of people preferring online consultations have skyrocketed. The article has attempted to explain the process, specifically from an online perspective. I hope it encourages people to reach out to a mental health professional since the accessibility increases with the comfort of doing sessions from home.

Where to find a relationship counsellor/family therapist in Bangalore:

Listing down some of the best organizations/institutions for residents of Bengaluru:

Mpower -The Center, Bangalore
2nd Floor, 2983, 12th Main,
Indira Nagar, HAL, 2nd stage,
Bengaluru - 560 008.
+91 80 25209712
To solve conflict within your family, seek help from a relationship counsellor or therapist.

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Image credits: Freepik