Main Apni Favourite Hoon
Women, it’s is widely believed, are natural multi-taskers.
Some studies claim it’s a hormonal thing. Other theories attribute this super-power to the differences in brain-process between men and women. Still others make a case for the much touted ‘maternal instinct.’
I’ve done my research, none of these theories social or scientific- have conclusively proven that women are better at handling many jobs quickly and efficiently. Women ‘MAY’ or ‘COULD HAVE’ better multi-tasking skills doesn’t cut it in a world of hard facts and findings. So until proven guilty, let’s just accept that women are not natural’ multi-taskers, they just do more work!
From farms to factories, offices and homes, across class and caste structures- gender binds women into a race of doers who are socialized to take on more, and pretend that it is natural to do so. To juggle home, work and social responsibilities and do it seamlessly, uncomplainingly and more often than not, without being appreciated has somehow become the natural order of the world.
But there’s only one problem here- it is not natural!
It is a behavior that is drilled into us as little girls, to not just pick up after ourselves but also do the heavy-lifting for the male members of the family- whether its house-hold chores or emotional stress or societal pressures. And this skewed pattern mutates into adult life, where we become not just the physical but the emotional housekeepers at home, at work, in society.
So the next time you’re making a to-do list please, PLEASE put yourself in it. Not just in it at the top of it. Pencil in a tea break. A time out session. A leisurely walk. A good cry. A long nap. A lie in bed day- it’s all OK! Because self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself and the most loving thing you can do for your loved ones. It’s in valuing ourselves that we are setting up our worth in the eyes of those around us. Self-care equals self-worth, THIS, for every woman should be a natural state of being. And if you ever have trouble holding on to this state just channel your inner ‘Geet’ (Kareena Kapoor from the film Jab We Met) and say aloud, “main apni favourite hoon.”
I will leave you with a mantra that my grandmother lived by. A brilliant woman, who lived a full life, had a prolific career, raised a family, was amazingly healthy and lived proudly on her own terms till her death at age 87. Her mantra was- “Self-care is social service”.
I’ve tested this theory, it’s 100% true!