Learn simple ways to manage anger and follow peace of mind. Consult a mental health therapist near you.

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ANGER! It is the most talked about feeling and the least managed one as well. So much is talked about it, and yet very little is learned and practiced. Getting angry is normal, but when it gets out of proportion it, destructs and disrupts our personal relationships, work and quality of life. When a person is angry, he gradually experiences it and then there is an outburst. So if we start to know about the gradual feeling of getting angry, we can stop it at the lower stage.

To actually deal with anger, we need to learn about its mechanics first. Anger is an emotional reaction that involves both physical and psychological changes in us. Our anger peaks our energy, when our energy peaks, the chemical adrenaline that is present in our brain, enters our bloodstream, our heart rate increases and our muscles tense up and our blood flow increases. But why do we get angry, what do we perceive to get angry.

Anger is an evolutionary response that help us tackle threats or even fight them, but when anger becomes out of proportion and is uncontrollable, it becomes a serious issue.


  1. The “Shoulds”: The most common reason, for us to get angry is having our version of things, which we perceive to be right. We then compare this version with the reality, and get disappointed and angry when it’s not the same. Or when others don’t do things according to us.
  2. Wrongly Perceiving intentions: This is one thing that we all commonly do. We perceive things, the way it may or may not be true and react. We guess the intentions, behind a person’s doings to be malicious or intentions that do not favor us. We then make wrong notions and judgements and accordingly react.

  3. Internal factors: Some people have a perfectionist personality, that they can’t bare the sight of things going differently from there idea of perfectionism. They are critical of themselves, therefore expect things to be up to the mark every single time. When things don’t happen according to them it fuels their anger. Some people fail to take criticism in a healthy way and react.

  1. External Factors: Anger may result in externalizing behaviors. This can include verbal arguments and anger outbursts. Aggression is the reaction to anger. There could also be some outside contributing factors, where we have no control of, such as -
  • loss of property or privileges,
  • no equal rights,
  • unjust behaviors by others,
  • favoritism etc.

  1. Physical Health: Constantly being in stress and being angry can make you more susceptible to -
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • weakened immune system
  • insomnia
  • high blood pressure
  1. Mental Health: Anger takes away huge amounts of our mental energy and clouds our thinking abilities. This indeed impacts on our ability to take decisions, reasoning, and also our personal and professional lives.
  1. Work Environment: Difference in opinions, constructive criticism, creative differences and debates give us a whole perspective which is helpful and proves to be healthy. But lashing out or having anger outbursts can alienate colleagues, supervisors and clients.

  1. Relationships. Our Anger outbursts can cause lasting scars on people’s minds and can ruin friendships and work relationships. Lashing out makes it hard for others to trust us, present honest opinions or feel comfortable around us and is especially hurtful to children


Some people get angry in an instant. They go from being in a calm state to a furious state in the blink of an eye. But if you mindfully observe, there are warning signs when your anger is rising, if we manage to recognize them early we can prevent our anger from reaching the boiling point.

When we think about the physical warning signs of anger, we might experience fast heartbeats, or our face might feel hot or maybe we might start to clench our fists, or sometimes our mind races.

If we manage to recognize these warning signs, we can take immediate actions and avoid ourselves from saying things that worsen the situation and create more problems. If we learn to pay attention to how are we feeling or what changes are happening, we’ll get better at understanding and recognizing the warning signs.

As rightly said by Mahat Pashupati and Sharma Vidya Dev, behavioral techniques and cognitive restructuring techniques are found to be effective methods in controlling anger reaction if practiced properly and systematically.

To help manage your anger outbursts, it’s important to understand anger management techniques and then practice them whenever needed.

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.


  1. Step Away from the situation:

Trying to prove our point or win an argument in an unhealthy manner will only fuel your anger. One of the effective things to do in this situation is to get yourself out of those surroundings if you can. When a conversation gets heated or a situation gets out of control take a break. Leave from that place if you think you are going to have an anger outburst. A time-out can help you calm your brain and your body.

When you need to step away, explain that you aren’t dismissing the situation but managing your anger. You might not have a productive conversation or resolve a conflict when you are not thinking straight and calmly. You can always join the discussion later when you’re feeling calmer.

  1. Relaxation:

The relaxation techniques will work best for your anger management. There are many exercises you can utilize to reduce anger. Breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation are common strategies and can help you for reducing anger.

  1. Mindful Breathing:

Get yourself in a comfortable space. Close your eyes, and start to notice your breath. Before you begin to alter it, pay attention to the pace and depth. Check if you are taking deep breaths or shallow ones? Is the pace quick or slow? How are you feeling? are you finding your body to be calmer or no? are there any changes? Knowing or being aware of your breathing can help you to become more mindful of your body and its responses to stress and anger. It can also help you to notice when you need to deliberately relax your breathing.
In conclusion, these techniques take practice to master and then can be used when needed. They will help you to stay calm and think straight.

Most people with a high temper, think it’s uncontrollable, and there is nothing they can do about this, but actually, you have control over it. With insight about the real reasons for our anger outburst and the anger management techniques, you can not only control the intensity of the anger outburst but also express your emotions in an acceptable and healthy way. Anger management will also help us to look at things differently in our lives and approach our problems in a healthy way.

Also read,

Anger Management. Consult a psychologist in Mumbai/Bangalore/Kolkata/Pune.

Irritability: What to understand, how to manage and where to avail mental health service in Bangalore.

Image credits - Freepik

Mihika Palshetkar
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